The biggest tech companies are full of children
A TikTok user took viewers through her work day at LinkedIn, and it showed a world that most blue collar people could never imagine.
The Tech industry accounts for some of the largest companies in the world. In fact, according to Investopedia, tech companies account for 8 out of 10 of the world’s largest companies. And I will take nothing from the people who built these companies into what they are today. I’m sure those who built such companies were some of the brightest, most hard-working people on the planet. Keyword being were.
If what I’m about to describe is any example, those people have either retired, or are wiling away in the shadows trying to keep these companies going while fresh college grads are brought in to swill beverages, meditate, and play Ping Pong for comparable salaries to those pulling the weight.
Let me preface this by saying that I’m not the biggest fan of Tik Tok. Putting aside all the violations of privacy that you agree to when you sign up for it, including but not limited to the Chinese company behind it being allowed to monitor all of your devices whether you use Tik Tok on those devices or not, it serves as little more than a window showing how modern society potentially comes crashing down like a house of cards after a stiff breeze. Luckily for me, YouTube also has spillover that shows me some of the content from Tik Tok, and one user’s account of her work day intrigued me, to say the least.
A user by the name of ‘natasha.badger’ was gracious enough to show the world her workday at her job at LinkedIn before summarily deleting all her videos after people like me ridiculed her for it. Luckily, nothing on the internet really disappears. Her day starts by going into the office a little earlier than usual for a 9 am meeting that didn't happen. I will assume her days usually start at 9 am even though the way she says it implies she shows up later, usually. Given how all this goes, I'm guessing there isn't a set time for punctuality at this company. Just show up when you want - if you want.
She celebrated her canceled meeting because it gave her time to grab a "eucalyptus towel" from the lobby and a drink ( orange water, in this case ) before heading up to her office where she clearly isn't interested in getting much done since she's browsing some online shopping site on her laptop. She also takes time out of her busy day to show that they have LinkedIn mugs in the office now, from which she is apparently drinking coffee or something similar. That’s drink #2 before any work gets done whatsoever.
The first thing that comes to my mind is how she's going to have any time to get any work done when she's too busy visiting the restroom from constantly swilling beverages. That doesn't seem to be an issue, however, as is made clear when we watch on. Natasha apparently did find a little time to actually work, which in this case involves "prepping LinkedIn content". I don't know exactly what that entails but the fact that she's using her touch pad instead of an actual mouse to navigate tells me this isn't exactly labor-intensive. Anybody who has tried to do accurate and efficient work with a laptop touch pad knows what I mean.
Natasha then briefly fondles the wall for some reason, then there is a brief glimpse of a placard that says "Company Connect being shown in All Hands" which we soon find out is short for "All Hands Room" - I assume this is a meeting place of some sort. Apparently this meeting wasn't compulsory because she said there weren't that many people there and all that seemed to happen was the showing of a video of a bunch of women singing some song called "Mama Mia". I'm also guessing that since there doesn't seem to be a man in sight that their workforce is almost entirely comprised of women. So much for diversity quotas. Not that anyone knows what a woman is, anymore. Except for Matt Walsh's wife at the end of his documentary "What is a woman?"
Spoiler alert.
Anyway, after this "meeting" concludes, our narrator seems to have wiled enough of the workday away that it's now lunchtime. LinkedIn, clearly flush with cash, has saw fit to put a restaurant right there in the offices. I guess it's a good thing, with such a packed schedule and busy workday, who can be bothered to leave for luch? After that, Natasha grabs yet another drink ( a chai latte this time, which I have zero doubt is a requirement for employment at LinkedIn, given the personnel ) and heads to what looks like a recreation room where two of her coworkers are playing Ping Pong. This part proved me wrong, there is a man working there, after all. If playing Ping Pong is considered to be work, anyway.
The next part really gets me. Apparently LinkedIn is bursting with money to such a degree they can waste it on what Natasha calls a "Quiet Room". She goes on to state ( and model with her chai latte ) that it's a great place to "unplug from work". I'm thinking it's likely 2 or 3 pm by this point and I've only seen Natasha work in between browsing shopping sites for like 5 minutes. What the fuck is she unplugging from?
Oh, but the workday is saved! She says it's finally time to buckle down and work on getting a marketing lab certification, which isn't really work at all. It's an education module for work that might happen sometime down the line. What the hell are they actually paying this woman to do for them? It has something to do with marketing, apparently, but I don't think she has time to market anything between slamming drinks and snacks left and right, which she proceeds to do after all that "hard work" on her certification module while sitting in what she calls a "focus room". Why do they need 10 different types of break rooms?
She then finally gets around to "finishing off the rest of her work" but again, little is offered for the viewer to discern what the hell that work actually is. The pertinent part of the video ends with her announcing that, per an email she received she will be joining a marketing team. Okay, well that clears up some of her purpose, I suppose. Let's hope for LinkedIn's sake she can squeeze it into her busy drink and snack schedule.
After this, she is seen leaving the building and goes out drinking or something then the video ends. I don’t really care about that part since I don’t care how she spends her time outside of work. Thrill ride from beginning to end. Citizen Kane eat your heart out. I've never had a corporate job in my life and I'm sure it shows since I'm baffled by what the hell I'm seeing here. This isn't a job, it looks more like a fantasy camp loosely based on the idea of working in a corporate office. Others have called it “Adult Day Care”. I’m inclined to agree.
I've managed to dig up what she's making at least - $70,000 a year. And she's probably costing the company an additional 70 grand in refreshments and toilet paper per year. Now I know some people will chalk it up to jealousy on my part, and they would be right. Hell yes I'm jealous. I'd love to be paid to drink chai lattes and browse Etsy. But the world needs ditch diggers, too. As well as people to write articles complaining about this facade of Corporate America that merely masquerades as something resembling a functional business.
If this is the type of person to whom we are entrusting the future — and pardon my French — we are fucking doomed.
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